Tracing the Memo
by xioshe
Summary: As Sai disappeared, Hikaru gave up Go. W/out warning, he awakens to find himself hospitalized, seemingly having lost 3 years of memories. Despite his 12-year-old mind in his 15-year-old body, his subconsciousness continues calling for Sai. What now Sai?
1. Chapter 1

**TRACING THE MEMO**

Synopsis – Shindou Hikaru awakens to find himself hospitalized, seemingly having lost 3 years of memories. Despite his 12-year-old mind in his 15-year-old body, is it possible that a shadow of Sai still exists somewhere?

Note: This story takes place after Sai's disappearance, during Hikaru's search for Sai.

Disclaimer: All original characters rightfully belong to their proper owners. I only have the privilege of borrowing them.

* * *

CHAPTER ONE

Shindou Hikaru lazily opened his eyes and was instantly greeted by a fuzzy vision of darkness. He felt he had slept for a long time, feeling the heaviness of his body discomforting him, yet strangely luring him back to sleep.

He blinked in an attempt to cast his unfocused vision aside. After a few more tries, finally successful, he found himself staring at the ceiling of an unfamiliar room. By the amount of darkness around him, he assumed it was night. Yet, there was a stream of light reflecting a surreal glint of sunlight. Tracing the light back to its source with his eyes, he noticed a large window to the left of him. Apparently, the white curtains failed to shield against the intruding light.

He was surprised when he heard himself release a soft but relief sigh. For some reason, he welcomed the light. The shadows just seem too depressing at the moment. Still, there was something in that momentary surrealism that was a bit taunting. With another sigh, he tossed the matter aside and resumed to staring at the dull ceiling.

After fainting without notice in his grandpa's attic, he could pretty much surmise that he was in a hospital room.

Shindou scrunched his face in a frown. What did happen? He didn't seem to remember quite clearly. Something about a blood-stain goban. Akari, his best friend, was there too. As well as the –

"AHH!"

Without wasting a second, he covered himself with the large white blanket. He couldn't help but shudder, his eyes diluting slightly as he curled himself into a tight ball.

Yes. There was the ghost as well. Was _it_ gone now? Or was he still haunted? Oh god! What had he done wrong to deserve being haunted?! Sure he did badly at school, played pranks, taunted, cheated, lied, dyed his bangs blonde, thought about selling other people's belongings without permission, and so forth, but seriously…were they THAT bad enough that God had to punish him like so?

He shivered again just thinking about it.

After a moment of silence, there was no sign of movement or sound. Curiously, he peeked from beneath the bedsheet. The room was as empty as it has always been. There was nothing indicating the existence of a ghost.

Was it all his imagination?

Shindou dared not to relax as he uncurled himself from his ball. It couldn't have been his imagination, could it? After all, when the ghost wrapped himself around Shindou and invaded his mind, Shindou hadn't been prepared for the sudden heavy migraine. So big and unprepared was he that he had fainted from the impact. Yes, that was what had happened.

At the moment though, it didn't seem like his head was aching. A big onslaught headache would have left a trail behind, wouldn't it? Honestly, Shindou didn't know. What if he were to call the ghost? Would it come? But if it did answer to his call…Shindou gulped his fear. Well, it's worth a try.

Closing his eyes, he took several deep breaths, taking his time to muster the courage to confront the ghost. After what felt like hours, which were actually mere minutes, he mentally called the ghost.

_Yo! Ghost person! Show up! I-I'm not afraid of you! _

He stared into the silence. A minute passed. Another minute passed. Would it be better to speak out loud? With no response and the dragging silence, he felt more confident that it was all an illusion played by his mind.

"Hey! Stop being a coward and show up, Mr. Ghost!"

Answered again with only silence, Shindou couldn't help but feel a hint of disappointment. Ghosts really didn't exist after all. It really was all his imagination. But then, he couldn't understand the headache and why he fainted. Nor did he understand the feeling of disappointing he had a second ago. He should have been relief, but why did he felt like that disappointment was starting to gnaw on him?

Angry at himself, and the fact that he may be confused, he returned to sleep, or at least tried to.

* * *

"Hikaru! Finally! You're awake!"

First thing in the morning and this was his greeting. Hikaru looked at the teary-eye girl, the owner of the relief voice. He recognized her violet, shoulder length hair, some dividing into two mini pigtails. He remembered the unique violet hues of her eyes. But the face, it was much less chubby, much older and more defined, but the childish teary eyes were definitely the same.

"Oi, Akari. Did something happen to you? You look older. I didn't know that growing girls can quickly become so old over night. Ne, you're not going to become an old hag anytime soon, are you?" He asked casually.

Shocked by his words and his apparent innocent and oblivious face, Akari was speechless. Naturally, she would have made a retort, but her dear friend did not look like he was joking.

"Eh! Shindou! That was cruel! She was so worried about you! WE were all worried about you!"

Hikaru shifted his attention to the spiky hair boy. Well, he wasn't a boy. Perhaps a budding young man would be more precise? The young man looked like he was fast approaching the end of his teens. Shindou glanced at the unusual shade of red hair before staring at a face full of anger and disbelief, mixed with concern and…more anger.

"Who are you?" Shindou asked, narrowing his eyes.

All the anger was gone from young man's face. All that was left was a massive amount of disbelief.

"HOW COULD YOU NOT REMEMBER YOUR NUMBER ONE GO FRIEND, YOU JERK?! I'M WAYA DAMMIT! YOSHITAKA WAYA!"

"What the -! JERK?! I don't even know you! Why the hell are you yelling at me?! And what about an old man's game anyway? Tch."

Hikaru crossed his arms and turned his face away with a childish huff from the red-haired boy. 'Boy' was too nice of a word to call the rude stranger. He transferred his attention on another presence in the room. He glanced at the unspoken boy. …Or, was it a girl?

Nah, it was definitely a boy, and a pretty boy at that. There was no mistaking the finely sculpted face and straight olive hair that barely passed his chin, the long bangs hanging just before the top of his eyes, and the beautiful teal eyes shining with disbelief and horror. He was just as tall and looked no older than the red-haired.

"A-Are you okay mister?" Hikaru asked. There was a sense of fragileness around the pretty boy that made Hikaru uncertain of approaching.

Hikaru noticed his question did little good. The boy had only grown paler, despite his already natural paleness.

Hikaru sighed. Darn it. What the heck was wrong with these weird people?

"Um, Hikaru?" Akari began, trying to gain what little confidence was left while hiding her painful feelings. "Um, just how much do you remember?"

"EH?! What in the world do you mean?" Hikaru yelled, bewildered. "I'm perfectly normal. Nothing's damaged. I just fainted, remember?"

Akari couldn't help but glance at the two strangers as though asking for support.

"Just fainted?" the pretty boy mumbled, more to himself.

"Of course. I just fainted. Geez, what else is there to explain," Hikaru mumbled impatiently.

"Where did you fainted?" Akari asked.

"Why the stupid questions, Akari? You were there too, in Grandpa's attic. We went through his stuff remember? And there was this goban and you thought it was for chess."

Akari paled. Waya looked confused. And the pretty boy just didn't know what to make of it.

"I fainted a few minutes afterwards. Duh!" Hikaru replied arrogantly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world

"B-But, Hikaru. That was 3 years ago!" She cried, bursting with tears again.

Realization struck Shindou Hikaru hard. Had he been sleeping for three years ever since? Was that why there was no more ghost, no more signs of that massive headache? But more importantly, did he just wasted 3 years of his youth sleeping on a hospital bed, lost in a coma?! The horror if it gripped him tightly.

His intuition screeched impossible. Somewhere in the back of his consciousness and subconsciousness, that unknown thing agreed. It just didn't feel possible.

But it felt like the only conclusion.

* * *

**A/N**: Another Hikago fanfic! Yay? Anyway, this story, I noticed, started off a little slower than I'll liked, but I thought it would integrate the background information more naturally and make things more puzzle-like. Was it somewhat a success so far?

I know I haven't updated my first story in a long while. Still dissatisfied with the exorcism problem in "A Threesome Go". But I'm getting feedback on it and with those, I'm revising the chapter and rewriting the later ones. So I'm postponing updates on that and selfishly working on this one, keke.

"Tracing a Memo" was actually formed from two of my oneshots, but my good reliable friend suggested about combining them. Thus, viola! Tell me what you think of it! I greatly appreciate it! Especially you reading this far.


	2. Chapter 2

**TRACING THE MEMO**

Synopsis – Shindou Hikaru awakens to find himself hospitalized, seemingly having lost 3 years of memories. Despite his 12-year-old mind in his 15-year-old body, is it possible that a shadow of Sai still exists somewhere?

Note: This story takes place after Sai's disappearance, during Hikaru's search for Sai.

The Usual Disclaimer: All original characters rightfully belong to their proper owners. I only have the privilege of borrowing them.

* * *

CHAPTER TWO

After closing the door tightly behind her, Fujisaki Akari glanced worryingly at the two young pros who accompanied her in her unsettled state, trying not to explode as she leaned against the door, as though the action could provide great support.

The pretty boy, whom she knew as Touya Akira, had an unreadable expression on his face, looking lost in thought. She sighed. Even at a time like this, Hikaru's rival had not lost his composure.

She noticed Waya's fist shaking. Curious, she switched her attention to him. His eyes were squeeze shut, and she realized it wasn't his only fist shaking, it was his entire body. He gritted his teeth, as though it would contain the bomb inside of him, ready to explode, literally.

"Gah! I can't stand it anymore! What the heck is wrong with that Shindou!" Waya yelled.

Akari shuffled her feet. A painful tug pulling at her heart. A sensation causing tears to form and overwhelm her.

"I just want to punch him!" Waya added with a ferocious but determined face.

She winced. The likely possibility that her dear friend had lost his memories waved in front of her, almost sneeringly and mockingly. And she very much didn't want to accept it as the truth.

Hearing approaching footsteps, the three of them encounter a brunette lady, looking very much in her mid thirties. Her hair, fixed in a bun, looked a bit messier than usual, and her face hollowed from anxiety.

Using the palms of her hands, Akari pushed herself from leaning against the door to greet the lady with a bow. "Good morning Mrs. Shindou."

"Ah, Akari-chan. It's great to see you here," the lady replied, a small smile forming on her small sad face. She turned to face the two young boys with a questioning look. "Morning, gentlemen."

"Good morning, Mrs. Shindou," Touya and Waya greeted, bowing.

"I believe I haven't introduced myself before. My name is Touya Akira,"

A look of recognition formed on her face. "Ah, Hikaru would always mention you. He'll be so happy to know that you're visiting him."

Akira returned the smile. Perhaps Akari was the only one who caught how sad his smile was.

Waya took it as his cue to gather his manners and introduced himself. After all, he had only seen the mother once, but that was quite some time ago, when Hikaru had brought his mother along for the insei entry exam. Never had they chatted. "I'm Waya Yoshitaka, madam. A friend of Shindou Hikaru."

The mother nodded towards him, acknowledging him. "Thank you for looking out for my son."

Akari eyes fell on the grocery bag Mother Shindou was carrying. From the little opacity of the bag, she guessed the majority of the containers held nothing but food. "Hikaru woke up a moment ago, but he might have gone to sleep by now."

Mrs. Shindou's eyes widen at the news. A tearful yet gleeful look plastered on her face. Akari absorbed the mother's reaction, considering whether to share the dreadful news of Hikaru's possible memory loss.

"Excuse me," Mrs. Shindou managed before rushing into the room. Akari frowned. The lack of time made the decision for her. The mother will have to figure it out for herself.

"We should contact the doctor and let him know that Hikaru's awake," she suggested.

"If he's even awake," Waya muttered.

She bit her bottom lip. Hikaru had demanded he wanted his sleep, forcing the visitors to exit the room. He seemed to have plenty of sleep already, and he still wanted more sleep?! Did he not realize how worried everyone was? Or did his memory influenced his brash and rudeness, which she had thought he grew out of, when he wanted to be left alone? Akari just didn't know what to think. She wasn't sure what loomed ahead, and if she was even prepared to face it. Will Hikaru still be the same? It was her biggest concern.

She found her way somewhat blindly to a chair positioned opposite of her. A few other chairs lined themselves along the wall.

Touya Akira steadily approached her. "By the way, Fujisaki, about yesterday, thank you for notifying me about Hikaru's plight."

With a jolt, she stared at Touya, surprised. Noticing her reaction, a wave of uncertainty spread across his face. "Um, you were the one who called the Touya residence, no?"

"Ah, no, couldn't have been me. I don't know your phone number."

Waya motioned to take the seat next to Akari.

"What made you think it was me?" she asked, curiously.

Akira looked sideways, blushing slightly. "Erm, well, the speaker's voice sounded like yours, so I guess I just assumed it was you."

"Oh," she muttered, bewildered, wondering whose voice could possibly sound like hers. "Come to think of it, I got a text message the day before. Otherwise, I wouldn't have known Hikaru was at the hospital before Mrs. Shindou informed me. Looking back, I noticed it was from someone I don't recognize."

Akira's face hardened, his body tensing slightly. His sudden movements fed her curiosity. Did he find something suspicious? Couldn't be. But something continuously gnawed her. Though it was tiny, it was enough to make her uncomfortable.

She turned to face Waya, his face serious and deep in thought. "Ne, Waya. How did you know about Hikaru being hospitalized?"

"I received an email late last night," he replied softly.

Did Akira email Waya? She didn't know much about Hikaru's pro friends, but since they know each other, surely there's a good and tight relationship. She wondered, do guys usually email each other?

"An email from 'S', someone I don't even know," Waya added quietly, unblinking and unmoving, a faraway look in his eyes.

She could feel a chill traveling through her system. She shivered the chill away. What in the world was getting her all riffled up?

"Well, whoever it was that contacted us, we should thank them," she concluded loudly, hoping to rid of the uneasy feeling by doing so.

Judging from the pretty boy's face, Akari was careful not to sigh, relief that at least someone understood her unreasonable uneasiness. He took the empty seat on the other side of her.

"I don't mean to pry, but what happened to Shindou? I mean, he said he fainted after just seeing a goban," Akira asked.

"Ah, that." She couldn't help but become somber again, not noticing the sudden extreme of attentiveness in Waya. She remembered it was when her friend had begun to change greatly. She would never forget it. "Well, 3 years ago, we were rummaging through his grandpa's attic, and found a go board. He was saying a bunch of stuff, which was starting to spook me, so I left the attic," she shuddered slightly at the memory. The dim attic still spook her, especially since she could still remember the weather raging its rain and thunder just outside. "A moment later, I heard a loud thud, and found that Hikaru had collapsed. No matter how much I called out to him, he wouldn't wake up. After I was able to get a hold of Grandpa Shindou, an ambulance came to pick him up. The next day, he seemed perfectly fine. Although…he did act a bit strange and vomit in the middle of class."

"Eh, vomit?! You never found out what made him faint?" Waya asked, a disgusted look on his face when he mentioned vomiting.

She shook her head. "I never found out what caused him to collapse. Whenever I asked, he dismissed it."

Unless Hikaru's memory recovered, she doubted anyone will ever know anything relating to the incident leading to his hospitalization and loss of memory. Or even the secrets he seemed to be hiding. She wasn't completely blind that she didn't know there were a lot of things he kept from.

Akari's eyes widen. What will happen to Hikaru's memory?!

A thought occurred to her. "Do you think Shindou will vomit this time around?"

"What?! Who wants him to vomit?!" Waya cried, scrunching his face.

"I just thought…that maybe…since the last thing Hikaru remembers is fainting from that time, he might get the feeling of vomiting…again."

"Hm, so maybe, if a similar thing happened, there's a chance that it might trigger Shindou to remember something…" Akira said, considering the idea.

"Why go through something as messy and disgusting as that? Just make him play Go," Waya grumbled.

"But there's a chance that Hikaru might not remember Go," she replied. "Because he didn't begin Go until a few days after he fainted."

Waya stared at her, clearly speechless, his eyes widening. Akira looked slightly distracted.

"Then…drag his go teacher here to pound him into remembering," Waya finally responded, determination marking his face. "Just give me the name and I'll look for him!"

"Um…I think Hikaru sort of progressed by himself. I don't think anyone ever taught him, except for the few times he went to Go class."

The guys stared each other. She noticed the exchanges of several different faces between them, wondering just what was being communicated.

"We'll make him relearn Go!" Akira finalized.

"And…and…" Waya narrowed his eyes at Akira. "Stop stealing my lines."

Akari smiled. Maybe there was something she could do for Hikaru after all. An overwhelming feeling of hope renewed her energy. "Let's have lunch! And then, we'll start operation Recovering-Little-Hikaru!"

"Alright! Sushi time! But um…that name sounds a bit…," Waya commented, not daring to complete his sentence after noticing her blush feverishly.

* * *

**A/N**: I noticed I made an obvious mistake in the last chapter – I switched Waya's first and last name around. But just making sure, is Yoshitaka correct, or is it Yoshitake? I'm starting to get confused… If no one will like to correct me, I'll be sticking with Yoshitaka.

Anyway, my friend is willing to help check the chapters of this story, so updates will be weekly at the most. I really did not like how I've written the encounter with Hikaru's mother. It was so force and bland. Maybe you might notice what's missing or wrong with it and suggest it to me?

Also, I was not sure whether to address characters using Japanese honorifics – kun, san, chan, sama, etc – or "westernize" it a bit. Let me know your preferences. Heh, and I have to becareful so that I don't mix Akari and Akira by mistyping them.

Hope to get some feedback on what you think so far, either in terms of the characters, idea, writing, just anything in particular you think would help It pleases me to know that someone is enjoying this story. By the way, can someone help me? I don't think I ever figured this out, but how to reply to the reviewers directly? Otherwise, I might end up answering everyone at the end of the chapters. In any case, thank you everyone, who read, especially those who took your time to review.


	3. Chapter 3

**TRACING THE MEMO**

CHAPTER THREE

"I said, I'm fine! Gee, stop worrying so much!" Hikaru huffed, slightly annoyed at his mother.

"Just eat a bit more. Just a little more won't hurt," she pushed.

Why did his mother have to worry so much about him? It's not like he's a baby anymore. He already ate half the food his mother brought, despite that it took about an hour before his stomach gave in to the juicy aroma.

He narrowed his eyes at the spoon full of rice and a piece of broccoli, a small slice of meat hanging at the edge. Well, one more bite shouldn't hurt, as long as it gets his mother to leave him alone.

"Alright, but just one more!"

She immediately brightened at his words. Seeing it as agreement, he opened his mouth, willing to be spoon fed one last time.

"Look, Mom. I'm fine now. If you don't mind, I want to get some rest," he said as soon as he finished chewing.

She reluctantly sighed. "I suppose you do need some rest. Well, your friends must have gotten the doctor by now. I'll check up on you again later and see what the doctor has to say."

He nodded, watching the back of his mother as she retreated from the room. Alone again, he couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of comfort. The room was like a presence of its own, enveloping him in its element of plainness and solitude. He leaned against his pillow. To him, it was an awkward feeling, to think that being in such a room could bring such a sense of belonging. He was sure it was not normal to think that one could belong in a hospital room, especially not for a healthy boy like him.

Speaking of healthy, Hikaru noticed how weak his body still felt. His muscles ache slightly, but were heavily numbed at the slightest of movements. His body even looked a bit…longer and larger than he remembered. Perhaps that was the effect of sleeping for 3 years? He frowned at his deteriorating state. Since last night, he had felt a decrease in energy, the luring of sleep much harder to turn away from, and the feeling of loss engulfing him and gradually intensifying.

Shuddering, he wrapped the blanket tighter around him. Something was terribly wrong. Surely he was just overanalyzing things? After all, it's not like he had lost something important, so he must have imagined the sorrow that crept into his heart. And the lack of energy must be due to him fainting, so of course it would be natural for him to want some rest, right? But…even after 3 years of sleep, he still wanted more?

Before he could think about the matter any further, Akari entered the room, followed by the two weirdos from before. Hikaru noticed the change in their attitude. When he had previously kicked them out of his room, they were pretty dumbfounded and gloomy. But nearly two hours later, they came bouncing into the room, full of energy and determination.

The extreme change made him uncomfortable. Certainly something was going to happen, and Hikaru had a feeling he may not totally like it.

Akari beamed a smile at Hikaru. "How are you feeling?"

"Better if you weren't disturbing," he grumbled, tightening his hold on the blanket that was still wrapped around him.

She gave an apologetic smile, but made no movements to leave.

"Well, since it's obvious that you're not doing anything –" The so-called Waya began.

"I _was_ trying to sleep," Hikaru interrupted.

Seeing the red hair's annoyed face, Hikaru tried not to chuckle. That face, that guy really had a good annoyed look. If only he had a camera to capture it.

Waya's good eye saw the swift change in Hikaru's face. Waya knew his friend's expressions well enough to know that Hikaru had just laughed at him, even inwardly, which was just about the last thing Waya wanted from an amnesiac.

"Okay, that's it! I don't care if you were trying to sleep. Obviously, you failed and it means, you need to pay attention and listen to me!" Waya proclaimed.

"Eh?! Who the heck do you think you are, bossing me around?!" Hikaru hotly argued.

"I don't care if you don't remember me now, but I'll whack that brain of yours until you do. And to start whacking it, we're going to make you learn Go."

Hikaru groaned, pinching his face in disgust. "Still on about that crap? You don't know when to resign, do you?"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?! R-re-resign?! Don't you dare insult the game! Before you know it, you'll be a go obsessed freakazoid." The red hothead warned. The Hikaru Waya knew wouldn't insult the game so casually. After all, the Hikaru Waya knew was pretty much a go obsessed freakazoid.

The pretty boy took a step forward, clearing his throat.

"Shindou, maybe you still aren't aware yet? There are holes in your memory," the pretty boy said.

The calm yet stern look on his face dared Hikaru not to speak but to listen. Hikaru could only gulped his nervousness away. That heated gaze, Hikaru was sure he had seen that somewhere before, and perhaps with even more intensity than now. Maybe he really did forget something?

"As a way to help trigger you to remember some things, the three of us decided to teach you Go," Akari added, her smile trying to reassure the victim.

The door to the room suddenly burst open, startling the four. A wrinkled man wearing sunglasses barged in and nearly toppled Hikaru, locking the young boy's head in one arm and giving him a noogie.

"GAH! Let go of me you old hairy freak!" Hikaru gasped, his hands gripping hard at the wrapped arm around his neck.

"Old?! Hairy?! Freak?! I was worry about you, you dimwit! How can you say that to me?" the hairy beast proclaimed loudly. From his anger, he gave the poor boy another noogie.

"Kawai-san, don't try and kill him yet. I have yet to get my revenge," Waya announced, fiercely eyeing the two of them.

"Oh?" The loud man released Hikaru, his attention on Waya. Hikaru glared at the two of them while gasping for breath.

"Hehe, Waya-kun is just kidding," Akari said, feeling uneasy. She did not glance at Waya, refusing to see his reaction. "Anyway, if you're Hikaru's friend, I'm sorry to say that he probably does not have any memory of you. I think he lost about 3 years of memories."

Kawai-san gaped before turning his attention back on Hikaru, who focused his eyes, evilly questioning the new stranger.

"H-How could you not remember me?! It's all thanks to me that you're pro!"

Hikaru noticed Waya muffling a laugh with a hand. Hikaru raised an eyebrow, questioning. So, this hairy stranger, with thick eyebrows and a weird beard must have said something funny, and he just didn't get it.

"Well, who would want to remember how I befriended a mad man anyway?" Hikaru muttered, having the urge to pull the man's uneven, pointy beard.

"Why you ungrateful little brat!" Kawai began, about to launch into an attack, more likely another noogie or two.

"W-Wait!" Akari yelled, grabbing onto one of the man's arms in hopes of restraining him. "We don't know what will happen if you damage Hikaru's head."

"Really? Did the doctor say anything dreadful?" Kawai asked, returning his raised arms to his sides.

Hikaru noticed the exchange of glances between Akari, the pretty boy, and the loudmouth Waya. Anyone can tell from the look of realization on their faces that they had not informed the doctor, nor were there any hints that anyone else did.

"Geez, kids. What were you guys doing all this time?" Kawai scolded.

"I guess we got carry away with trying to get Hikaru's memory back that we forgot," Akari apologized, embarrassed.

"And just what were you guys planning to do?"

"Teach him Go," Waya answered.

"It's probably just a way for that jerk to torture me," Hikaru muttered.

"Go, eh? It would be a waste for you to lose your go," Kawai commented, thinking about Waya's answer. Then the man chuckled, sending chills down Hikaru's spine. "I'll be more than happy to be Hikaru's teacher!"

"No way!" Hikaru protested immediately. "I don't want an old man like you."

"Who's an old man?! I'm still pretty young, damnit!"

"Pft!"

"Grr! That's it. I'm getting the doc. We'll see what he says about you," Kawai announced, storming out of the room and slamming the door behind him.

"Tch. What is he, a Go freak too?" Shindou muttered to no one in particular.

"I suppose you can say that," Waya answered, staring at the door, expecting it to burst open any second now with a screeching comment from Kawai.

Hikaru writhed in agony. Was everyone becoming a Go freak nowadays?! Even Akari is into Go. Wait…did Grandpa caused this? Every weirdo he met so far was obsessed with go. They must be Grandpa's friends, visiting him in place of his grandpa. And because Grandpa somehow got young go friends, he must have bewitched Akari as well. Was Grandpa trying to get him into an old geezer's game since he failed to do so in the past? Crap, how to escape from this?

"Ne, Hikaru, I'm sure you'll like go," Akari said, bringing Hikaru back from his thoughts. He could notice the sadness she tried to hide in her eyes. Akari was never very good at hiding her emotions, and he felt a tinge of guilt. "So, let's learn go for a while. Maybe, it will help more than you think."

That's when he noticed that next to the pretty boy was a box. He hadn't noticed it before. When did they carry it in?

He saw Akari nod at the nameless pretty boy. Brushing the long hair aside, the boy opened the box, revealing a foldable board. The other boy, the rude one, had walked over and took what looked like two covered, wooden bowls. Both proceeded towards Hikaru, each plopping down at the edge of his bed. Curious, Hikaru took the board from the pretty boy, surprising him with the action. He opened the board and laid it on his legs. Nineteen familiar vertical and horizontal lines greeted him.

Hikaru glanced up at the other boy holding the wooden bowls.

"Ready to start?" Waya asked. Hikaru cocked his head, somewhat confused at Waya's sudden gentleness.

"Maybe we should start with the basics," Akari said, sitting down on one of Hikaru's bedside. "For example, Atari."

Akari opened the two wooden bowls, displaying round, polished black stones in one container and similar white stones in the other. She placed one white stone in between her middle finger and first finger, setting it down at the center of the board. She proceeded with three black stones in a similar fashion, guiding the black stones with the middle finger to the adjacent points until they nearly surrounded the white stone.

"Alright, you are white," she began. "If black goes here," she placed a black stone at white's last open liberty, "you will lose your stone." And she proceeded to pick the white stone off the board. "Now, I'll take back that last move." She returned the white stone while gently grabbing the black stone from the board, leading to the original position. "It's your turn. What should white do to prevent black from taking the stone?"

Hikaru frowned with concentration. Where had he seen something like this? He knew had seen it before. At that moment, an image of a moving white stone flashed in his mind. Without thinking, he touched the white stone.

"Run away like this," he answered, wiggling the white stone far from the black stones.

The pretty boy gawked, just barely able to conceal it. From shock, Akari remained speechless. She had once made the same mistake when Hikaru first tried to teach her Go. She could remember it so clearly. Waya, on the other hand, burst with disbelief.

"Ohmygod, ohmygod! Don't tell me Shindou just did that!" he screeched.

"What?! Geez," Hikaru yelled, quite insulted, guessing he had answered it wrong.

"My goodness, you don't move stones like that in Go!" Waya yelled. "You only place or remove stones!"

"Well, excuse me! How can I play a stone when the stones are not within reach?" Hikaru shot back, hiding his embarrassment with the excuse.

Waya frowned, doubt dancing on his face.

"Um, well, maybe let's try another exercise. How about the ladder?" Akari suggested.

"What the hell, this is not going to work. Let's just play games," Waya replied.

"Tch. You just want easy wins, I bet," Hikaru mumbled.

"Y-You!" Waya huffed. Trying to keep his cool around Hikaru might be a bit too much to ask from Waya at the moment. Before he could return a retort, the door opened.

The doctor had finally arrived. And Kawai-san was just behind him.

* * *

**A/N**: Chapter 3 completed! Lots of dialogue, something I'm still trying to get used to, actually xD. I'm now starting chapter 5, as my lovely friend skim over chapter 4. With all the ideas forming in my head just for this particular story, "Tracing the Memo" might become longer than the intended 10 chapters. That means, I'm going to have to rework the outline of the chapters. (And I already have other stories I wanted to start working on, including getting around to updating the 1st go story that was posted --''). Gee, I just _love_ making myself do more work xP.

In any case, a lot of characters are starting to get involved in the story, making it a bit more complicated to write this story, especially since it's a pretty short story. Plus, the chapters are becoming a bit more painful to write, just because I'm becoming more and more disagreeable as to how the chapters are turning out. Thus, I'm always looking forward to how you enjoy the story and looking for any construction criticisms for improvements!

**Acknowledgements**:

+ Cherrilicious – My wonderful editor and contributor for this fanfic, thanks so much.

+ Pure Shikon - (blushes) Thanks for the flattering. Amnesia is in interesting subject, isn't it? If you got a story w/ it, lemme know ;)

+ Shizuka Sen - Thanks for the correction :) Hm, I guess you do have a point about the mother. But I did want the mother to have some kind of impact on Hikaru, despite how small the effect may be. I felt like the mother wasn't getting enough credit at trying to be both the mother and father in Masao's absence. Hehe, and Hikaru was a rude back then, wasn't he? It's just, how rude he was that seems a bit difficult to capture xD. And thanks to your instructions, I found out how to reply to reviewers directly. Thanks a lot! But to others who cannot signed in to review, I'll continue to answer your reviews at the end. Btw, I love long reviews, especially if they're so helpful.

+ Hisshou - Hm...so that's who you think it is? Watch out for hints then You could be correct, or incorrect ;)

+ Me – I greatly appreciate your input and corrections! huggles You're _not_ a bad reviewer. About the "S", I can't say for sure whether you should get your hopes high or not. Looks like you'll just have to be patient and wait P.

+ Reader! 3 – I'll check the book out, thanks!

+ tatewaki2000, Servant, jennykitties, ThatCrazyGuyIWannaKill, Arbitrary Doom, A Fan, RinnaS, phppsmss, vampirelf, tsukinopen – Thanks a lot of reading and taking your time to show me how you feel about the story. Love ya all xD


	4. Chapter 4

**TRACING THE MEMO**

_WARNING_: This chapter has Go related terms. Definitions can be found at the end (if you need them).

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CHAPTER FOUR

Touya Akira frowned, unable to concentrate on his schoolwork. He had been so frustrated when Shindou Hikaru failed to show up for the Wakajinshi on Saturday, only to receive a phone call later that Shindou had been hospitalized for nearly a day. And then, Akira had practically wasted the entire Sunday visiting his rival, but the only thing greeting him was a rude and loud amnesiac. So, despite it being so late in the night, he had to focus on finishing his homework, but his mind refused, wandering back to the boy trapped in the hospital room.

Akira sighed, leaning back against his chair, letting his head hang slightly, defeated by his lack of concentration. He released his pencil on the desk, letting his arms relax as he stared at the ceiling of his bedroom.

Just who was or is Shindou Hikaru? The fact that Shindou had lost his Go troubled him. But even if he had lost his memories, surely his skills would remain?

The game Akira experienced against Shindou during their first encounter seeped into his consciousness. He shuddered slightly, remembering how powerful and beautiful Shindou's play had been, even though he later realized it had been shidougo. A deeper frown took over his face. That game. Ichikawa-san had told him it had been Shindou's first game against anyone. Yet, that mysterious strength had crushed him.

His eyes wandered to his four-legged goban, resting on the ground beside his bed, beckoning him. After a moment of hesitation, he rose from his seat and gave in to the luring gaze of the board, decidedly indulging himself a break from his schoolwork to devote his attention to the enigma that was Shindou Hikaru. Questions about his rival formed in his head, and he let them come as he had done so many times before, but paused as he rearranged his goban to a comfortable position.

He removed the wooden containers from the board and proceeded to do the same to the lids, lying both of them next to him. Digging in one of the wooden containers, he trapped a black stone against the nail of his index finger with his middle finger. Eying the upper left corner, he placed the stone down, one edge on the board while his index finger rested under the other edge. Taking away the lower finger, his upper finger remained, elegantly pressing down on the center of the stone, guiding it towards 17-16, komoku.

He reached for a white stone, placing it in the same manner at 4-17, also komoku. The cycle continues, this time with a black stone positioned at 16-3, another komoku. With it, his thoughts of the 12 years old Shindou Hikaru and the game returned.

Shindou Hikaru. Even at 12 years old and unserious, he must have been aware of his strength, at least enough to claim that he was "pretty strong."

_Pachi_. A white stone at 15-17, kakari.

_Pachi_. Black had chosen to aim for the lower left corner, 3-4.

Now all corners were komokus, and he knew that most experience players liked to avoid having all four komokus. After all, it made choosing a favorable joseki difficult.

Yet, Shindou had held his stones like a total beginner, clumsily in between his thumb and forefinger. Akira had ignored how the boy held his stones. He resolved to test Shindou's skills, thus moving at 17-5. Depending on Shindou's reply and follow up, little 12-year-old Akira would have a gist of Shindou's skill. Or so, that was his thought.

Akira gritted his teeth at the memory of his shocking loss. It wasn't that it pained him, just a regret. Regret that his Go hadn't been enough, that he had almost underestimated Shindou at the beginning of the game. Regret that now, he was unable to reach out to the amnesiac Shindou, only able to look into their first game in hopes that it'll provide answers, motivation, anything that there was still something. After all, it had been Shindou's first game.

He took a deep breath, calming himself, calming his mind, before returning to replay the game.

_Pachi._ Black stone. 15-16. Kosumi.

Hm…he had always been bothered by that move. It had appeared to be one of old Shindou's favorite moves. Maybe he can test and see if the amnesiac would play similar patterns?

Akira frowned. The idea didn't seem likely. At least, not after seeing Shindou's earlier play today. He couldn't even answer correctly to atari. So just what can Akira do about Shindou's loss of Go?

He couldn't help but a feel a little more depressed, and a thought occurred to him. Just what else is Shindou going to lose? Or what did Shindou already lost? Akira drank some water he always had ready near his bedside, trying to clear his head. Perhaps he was being a bit pessimistic. Dwelling on it now won't give him the answers to those questions. He'll just have to wait and see.

_Pachi_. White 5-3. _Pachi. _14-16. _Pachi._ 13-17. _Pachi._ 17-9._ Pachi. _White 14-4, Taisha.

Taisha. One of the most complex joseki because of its many variations. Akira didn't know why he played that move against someone who had seemed like a beginner at first glance. He knew it was complicated, even for him.

_Pachi_. Black had invited the taisha, playing the attachment at 16-5. He had remembered that particular Shindou's move enticed him, getting him excited yet nervous at the same time, hoping that somehow he can make it an interesting game even if his opponent turned out to be a beginner. But several moves later, the boy had supported his claim of being strong. Yes, it had been several moves later…

The stones continued to make soft sounds as they came in contact with the board, but in the silent room, they continuously grew louder.

White wedges at 16-4, continuing the taisha sequence. Black ataris at 15-4. White connects with 17-4. Black does the same with 15-3. Finally, White cuts and ataris at 15-5, isolating black's ataried stone.

Black had the choice of extending, saving his stone, or atari the white stone that was doing the same thing to black. Extending would definitely make things more difficult and allow more possibilities of variations to take place.

16-6, the old Shindou had chosen the more difficult route, extending. Akira couldn't help but wonder if Shindou liked making things more difficult, just to keep things interesting. Not only just the game, but with everything else. Perhaps that could be one of the reasons why sometimes Shindou was so difficult to manage? Even anticipate?

A tight grip grasped his heart. His body tensed and stiffened. He realize, beyond Shindou's Go, he didn't know much about his rival.

And now, he regretted that.

Oh, how he wished Shindou would just wake up and return to normal. He didn't know how to deal with the childish Shindou whom he couldn't even reach through Go. Or maybe, Akira just hasn't reached him yet?

After all, Shindou had taken the board from him and opened it himself. He had seemed quite interested at first, despite what he said about disliking go. Was it possible that there was a chance something had trigger Shindou's curiousity and Akira just happened to missed it? Even if it was a small chance, Akira would not give up. He'll figure out something. He will. He was sure…somehow. Hopefully, when he does, Shindou wouldn't do something unexpected and ruin it.

Looking back at black's last move, white 17-3 was the only move. With the support of black's earlier 17-9 move, the extension appeared to have made the position more favorable for black.

Akira resumed the game. He didn't need to remember everything he had thought about the game, nor every single possibility or strategy. He just hoped the game would reveal something about Shindou, which he can use to formulate his resolution, anything that can be discover is a possible lead. After all, there were some things that, if one look deep enough, one could only discover it in the Go they play.

Black chose to hane, 17-2. Sealed in, white hanes as well with 18-2. Black jumps to 13-3. White connects and prevents the cut at 14-5. Black connects, preventing the atari at 16-2.

Gradually up to that moment, Akira had realized how solidly Black played. Black was certainly strong, definitely not a beginner, and it didn't look as though Shindou was a kyu either. To make sure his sealed-in corner group had a chance of living, White played 18-7.

Black stayed connected with 16-8, keeping the two white groups separated.

Akira paused. It was puzzling how mysteriously strong the old Shindou Hikaru had been, and might still be if it was still sleeping within this new Shindou.

Remembering how the 12-year-old had moved with such strange slowness, hesitant and always looking at the entire board, almost as though he was making sure there were 19 lines horizontally and vertically, Akira motion to place the next move. 11-3.

And then there were Shindou's eyes. As he was taking his time scanning the board, those bright emerald eyes held none of the concentration and determination, none of the seriousness and fierceness that Akira confronted with every game and player he encountered.

Yet, even though Shindou showed no traits belonging to that of a Go player, Akira had been the one who was overpowered.

_Pachi._ Black ran out with 12-4. White's turn to run, moving to 14-7. Black 11-4. White responds with a hane at 10-4.

Akira couldn't help but shiver slightly. Shindou had beautiful shapes. Despite black's moves being out of date, Akira couldn't help but wonder. Where did Shindou get that kind of strength? Does it only surface at times when Shindou's somewhat oblivious to it? Is that why the playing and style appears out of date?

He frowned. Nothing ever fit nicely together. There seemed to be too many holes. Reading Shindou Hikaru could even be harder than reading a Go game.

But maybe, just maybe, Akira could test out that theory? If there was another Shindou within Shindou, bizarre as that may sound, maybe it will appear again in the midst of his amnesia?

Akira couldn't help but frown deeper. What drove Shindou to pick up Go anyway? Especially coming to his father's Go salon, unaware that he even had to pay a fee? But seriously, why is the mysterious strength outdated? Well, perhaps maybe now, it isn't so outdated anymore, since it's resemblance with Sai could mean...

Yeah, there was the possibility that the Shindou that exists within Shindou was none other than Sai. Akira had thought that many times. There were some resemblances, if not traces, from Sai to Shindou's Go that were uncannily the same. But, even if the old Shindou is Sai, how did Sai know Go? How did transferring that knowledge and skill work inside of Shindou?

Akira sighed. Almost everything seems to point to this Sai. Or even the Shindou inside Shindou that may not even be Sai. Things were so confusing.

He shook his head, placing a black stone on the board, 17-1, willing his mind to think something other than Sai. It'll bring no answers, only a terrible headache as its companion.

White 19-2, a natural answer. Black threatens White's eye space with a kick, 18-8. White 17-7, and Black connects at 16-7. White's certainly sealed in. But in turn, White tries to do the same, lightly sealing Black's bottom group with 11-6.

Akira allowed a small smile to form on his face. Back then, both Shindou and Akira had seem to be taking turns, or at least Akira was trying to instead of letting Shindou control the flow of the game. One would hane, the other would hane. When one connects, the other connects. And when one ran, the other usually ended up running as well.

He couldn't help but think it reminded him of their relationship. They had been trying to reach each other, chasing and running after one another. Sometimes, things would just fall into place, connecting and making sense. But in the next moment, everything became confusing, and they would wound up chasing each other again, never really sealing each other in, never really being able to reach out.

Maybe, just maybe, that was the problem? Whatever that's been confusing their rivalry, Akira just need to figure it out and be able to bypass that difficulty, finally being able to reach around to Hikaru. But what exactly is that object that's causing this confusion, blinding their relationship? It can't possibly be what caused the amnesia. Shindou had forfeited games even before the incident.

_Pachi_. Black cuts at 10-3.

Incident? Akira pondered, wondering why it seemed like no one knew what had happened to Shindou. No one seemed to know who had brought Shindou to the hospital. The hospital staffs claimed to have not remembered. Something strange is definitely going on. And his intuition strongly agrees.

Could the person who found Shindou be the same as the female who had phoned him? At a time like this, Akira regretted not having caller IDs installed.

He resorted back to the game. White ataris, 9-3. Black extends, 10-2. White connects, 9-4. Black keimas with 14-9.

What exactly happened to Shindou before his amnesia anyway?

White 14-11. Black 9-2. White blocks with 8-2. Black defends with 11-2. White threatens at 16-10. Black connects with 16-9. White makes shape with 16-12. Black takes his chance at threatening to kill white's corner group, playing at 19-4. White 17-6. Black hanes, 19-7. White blocks, 19-6. Black connects, 19-8. White tenukis and attaches at 13-9.

Akira drew back a bit from the game. He had almost become totally engrossed he had forgotten to look out for tidbits of Shindou. But the moves thus far appeared natural, understandable, nothing out of the ordinary.

Black hanes, 13-8. White cuts, 14-8. Black ataris, 13-10. White ataris, 14-10. With that move, Black 12-9, forced to capture. White ataris again, this time at 15-9. Black tenukis, opting for 19-5. White ignores and 13-9, capturing a black stone. But now, Black 18-6, and white has lost his cluster, creating a seemingly large black corner.

But in exchange, White gained control of the center. Control and influence is just as important as territory. And as long as Akira kept it up, the was game was even.

White 13-16, strengthening his top group and followed up with his support in the center. Black 14-9. Was Black issuing a ko fight? If so, threats were necessary, but at the moment, there were more important matters than the ko.

White jumps to 13-14, enclosing black's upper group in his building influence. Black kicks with 16-17. White tenukis to play a corner enclosure, 4-15. A probably White moyo was beginning to form at the top. Black chose the chance to aid his lonely lower left komoku with 3-7, forming a base. White shoulder hits, 4-8. Black solidly extends, 4-7. White lightly jumps to 6-8.

And then, Shindou startled him, 8-15.

That move. The testing move. The mysterious Shindou had been testing him. Was the old Shindou testing him again, even now? Akira had control of the center, had the influence, and in the midst of it all, Shindou had probed. Was this amnesia a similar thing?

Akira had been rising, continuously being in the spotlight, concentrating on not letting Shindou reach him. In that center, in that world, Akira had control. And now, Shindou played an unexpected move. Shindou had forfeited his games and now lost his memories. So, in a way, was this a test? Shindou's obliviousness, his subconsciousness, his "other side," whatever it may be, are they all testing him?

Hm, if that shall be the case, then he might just have an idea of what to do with this Shindou. All it'll take is time - time to read out the possibilities and weigh the consequences. Because once the plan is in motion, he will have to follow up. There will be no undos. There will be no room for regret.

He swallowed more water, clearing his mind; then settled down to clear the board. With determination, he slammed a stone at 17-16, komoku. Without missing a beat, he added a white stone at 4-16, hoshi.

Concerning Shindou, the old or the new, Akira still had a chance. After all, it was only the beginning. There, the answers sleep undisturbed, and that is where he will awaken them.

* * *

**Definitions:** (For those who are curious or do not know Go terms, I've relayed them to you in order of appearance.)

Komoku known as the 3-4 point, which more or less secures the corner. A very common opening move in the corner which usually intends to make a corner enclosure.

Kakari a corner approach, an approach to a single opposing stone in the corner.

Joseki a series of sequences leading to an "equal" local result for both players.

Kosumi a diagonal move, with the purpose of connecting, attacking, moving out, or cutting.

Hane a diagonal move that "reaches/wraps around" an opponent's stone(s). Do not mistake it with kosumi, which can occur with or w/out contacting opponent's stone(s). Hane happens with there's already a stone you can wrap around.

Kyu an amateur rank, the higher your kyu rank (for example 30 kyu), the weaker you are, 1 kyu being the strongest. Once surpassing 1 kyu, you reach amateur 1 dan and go up from there. It is estimated that amateur 8-9 dan is pro level. (But if I remember correctly, Japan has the highest amateur dan level as 7.)

Keima a knights move, a pattern similar in chess; normally use for attacking, diminishing the running space of groups. Rarely is it used for defense, because the shape is easy to cut.

Tenuki playing away from the current, local position.

Hoshi the star point. On a 19x19 board, they are marked with a small dot (9 in all). They serve no purpose in the game, except acting as a visual reference, as well as a guide to where handicap stones are generally placed (based on Japanese rules. Chinese rules, for instance, differ slightly).

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**A/N**: The chapter: I bet no one was expecting something like this after a light-hearted chapter 3. I tried to write this chapter so readers can also learn a bit more about the game of Go, but I had a tough time deciding how much information to add, so I ended up having less comments of the game than intended. But I tried to display as much moves as possible so you can follow the game, even though I did not go through the entire thing. (There are hints of Akira's plan in there ) Let me know how you like it, so I know whether to continue a similar format in the future or not.

This chapter acts almost like a filler. Almost. Some of Akira's thoughts and intentions are revealed, and I thought that will be useful knowledge as he'll become more and more active later in the story. Although I gave a couple hints about Akira's plan, I hope it isn't so obvious, at least not yet. Next chapter will start picking up the story's pace again…a bit, as it'll focus on Waya and Hikaru. Look forward to see how unpredictable (or predictable) Hikaru can be in all the upcoming chapters!

About the game: I was comparing the game with the actual game (between white Honinbo Shuwa 8dan and black Honinbo Shusaku 6dan). Despite the stones being at the correct place, the coordinates that Hikaru was muttering to himself in the manga were way off. It made me wonder if there was some mistake in translation. So when I checked the anime version, guess what? The coordinates were also off! And when Akira's cluster died, the anime was missing a vital black stone that was not shown, most likely forgotten and skipped. Without that black stone, White's group would not be dead. There's a lot of other interesting stuff throughout the real game in comparison with the moments in the manga/anime that I find quite fascinating, some of which I tried to indirectly incorporate in the story. (I had to rewrite a bit of this chapter due to these discoveries.)

Updates: Updates may be slower than the usual weekly update. I've just been lacking motivation for writing lately. My computer decided to explode (exaggerating a bit on this part) and die out on me, so a lot of my stuff got deleted, including schoolwork and stories. Since I have to rework my priorities (with schoolwork at the top), my energy, time, and motivation in the writing section has been draining at an alarming rate. But I will still try my best.

I appreciate all your reviews, comments, and suggestions! And no, I don't have anyone to beta check my stories, as I feel my skills are a bit inferior even for that level. So I'll wait until I become a bit more comfortable with writing fanfics. However, I am please enough that people are enjoying the story. It's been helping my writing in more ways than one. (My apologies for a long "A/N" section, but I couldn't stop myself.)

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**Acknowledgements**:

+ Cherrilicious – As usual, my wonderful editor and contributor for this fanfic, thanks so much!

+ LokiGirl, Green.on.Black, Uchiha Akane, Update, phppsmss, Hisshou – Thanks for reading and commenting. I love hearing your theories and encouragements for updates. As always, I love you all :)

+ LelaRo – Thanks for reading! That is a good question. I think the answer will become clearer as the story progress. It'll get a bit more descriptive, but all of it won't be present immediately. I thought maybe spreading it out would be a bit better. Hm…maybe you think it's better if it's given out at once so it seems more complete and less confusing?

+ Pure Shikon – Heh, medical conditions do make quite interesting situations. I tend to write them too, which is something I'm trying to get out of. (I failed at it with this story :P) I'm a big fan of Sai, so I don't like him disappearing, but it does sort of make sense. To be honest, I'm not sure if Masao's the real thing. My helper thought it might be. I remember seeing the father's name once, but I haven't had much luck checking again if it's real. Thus, I've never used the name in actual story, but if need be, I'll use the name when talking about the story, since lots of ppl recognize Masao as Hikaru's father.

+ Haruka – Glad it made your day :D Hm, to be honest, not sure if I should answer your question. I guess, all I can say is, "Not exactly." So, my apologies, but you'll just have wait and see.

+ Me – Yay! I was the first?! (huggles) But I'm sorry to burst your bubble. There will be no pairings in this story. It's just too short for it. Plus, it probably wouldn't make sense with the direction or flow of this story. But I will try and make the chapters longer (like this one, and will most likely continue getting longer) :D Writing is not frustrating, unless if I make it be, so have no fear! …or so I think.

+ astrido – Ah, when I went back to reread that part, I guess I can kind of see why you would think that. Sorry for the confusion. It's just that I saw Kawai as a character who has more body hair than the others (besides Sai's long hair). So, trying to see it from Hikaru's point of view, he just looked like a hairy beast who is rough and loud by nature, perhaps almost as primitive as he appears. But thanks for that insight! Hopefully, I can watch out for my descriptions a bit more carefully from now on :)

+ ViperineVampire – hehe, that would be an interesting area to touch upon – the multiple dimensions of Hikaru's Go. But to my knowledge, every go player has a unique style, some more visible than others depending on preferences and how their go was developed. Sorry for a complicated question, but what do you think Hikaru's unique style is? :D (What I'll tend to imagine is an imaginary style xD)

+ Shizuka Sen – Thanks for your comments! I have to say, humor is quite difficult to write. This story was heading towards angst as well, but I just couldn't stand how depressing and serious it'll get. It just needed to have something light somewhere, even if it'll last for a short while. Though, strong angst is still wonderful to read. I do agree with your statement that most good ideas occur when you're going off tangent or still in the process of writing chapters. But as I always let that get the best of me, I never get anything done and nothing gets back on track anymore. Ever happened to you? …So, I wanted to try and see if I can at least be successful with making one story stay on track. I guess having more chapters is okay, it's just, I'm also excited to get started on working fulltime on my other writing projects too. But I tend to end up rushing, so to pace and take my time, I try to stay on track, which helps. Hm, but I guess you are right, I am a bit afraid of writing more than planned. Otherwise, I have a non-stop writing disorder. x-x


	5. Chapter 5

**TRACING THE MEMO**

CHAPTER FIVE

"Damn that Shindou!" Waya cursed loudly in the emptiness of his apartment.

He was going over the day's events in his head since Shindou stubbornly refused to remove himself from the thoughts of Waya's troubling mind. At the moment, he was glad he had an apartment to himself, though he had yet to share the news with his friends. He was glad he wasn't with his parents who, if they chose to be nosy, would question him about his continuous outbursts.

But, just thinking about Shindou was bringing him a headache and his blood refused to stop boiling. Shindou always managed to get on his nerves, but in the years they were together, he managed to shrug most of it off as merely Shindou being younger, thus still childish. But now, that brat…it's all that lousy punk's fault that Waya just couldn't calm himself.

It had been a few hours since he left the hospital, just as visiting hours were over. Shindou had tried to kick them out of the room a second time just as the doctor was about to leave, but that brat had failed to do so just because the two of them had ended up arguing, again. And all because of that, Waya had failed to catch what the doctor had briefed on Shindou's condition.

Waya removed himself from his sitting position, letting himself fall backwards on his pillow, setting his arms behind his head with his eyes resting on the only thing before him – the plain ceiling.

The window next to him was opened, and a soft night breeze invited itself in. Gently brushing over him before it scattered, the breeze successfully calmed him. Finally relaxed, he tried to force his thoughts away from Shindou.

He was instantly greeted by Morishita-sensei's stern and massively scary, pinched face. Forcing down a scream, Waya instantly cringed at the image. Because he had visited the ungrateful little monster at the hospital, he had missed out on the study group, which he knew was quite unlike him. Sensei had scolded him when he finally contacted him right after leaving the hospital. In the midst of it all, he forgot to share the news about Shindou-kun.

Even so, this was Shindou, for goodness's sake! His friend! How could he just ignore his friend? The friend who had missed out on the necessary oteai matches, the friend who he suddenly didn't know at all and could even drift farther away with every passing second?!

Every thought he had linked back to Shindou. Gee, Shindou was seriously invading his mind. And probably soon, his life!

Waya tossed to his side, trying one more time to rid of all thoughts concerning Shindou, hoping sleep would be more merciful by coming quickly. His attempt proved unsuccessful as his open eyes fell upon his four legged goban, the only object that existed in his apartment other than a few clothes and his squeaky, but still comfortable bed.

Touya Akira. He had visited Shindou.

Waya supposed he shouldn't have been surprised. After all, it was starting to be well known that Touya saw Shindou as a rival. Even so, he still couldn't stand being in the same room as that obnoxious little know-it-all. And he had to endure it for the entire day.

Waya sighed. All this thinking definitely wasn't making him sleepy, not even the slightest. And sleep wasn't being cooperative either. He rose from his bed, stretched a bit, and cruised out the front door. Maybe a night walk will do the trick.

Once outside, the cool breeze was most welcoming. Even so, it took a while before Waya grew comfortable enough to begin walking. The neighborhood would take some time getting used to, but it seemed safe enough for tonight. He'll just have to be sure his thoughts on Shindou weren't too captivating for him to forget his path home.

He took a deep intake of the cool air. With it, he could smell the stuffy warmth that came with summer and its herbal aroma. The familiar smell brought a small smile to his face.

It really has been a long time since he's been out in the night just to relax and be alone with his thoughts. Being with his parents had made such an experience a luxury.

He took his first step and began his long walk in the night, the few streetlights glowing eerily in the pitched-black darkness were more than happy to light his way. His head cleared for a moment as he listened to the continuous buzz, the night's heartbeat that never really cease nor grew. There was no other sound except for a few occasional cars that zoomed by, their engines mumbling softly about becoming much too old. At moments like this, he was glad for the silence that came with living in the suburbs.

But the silence was only a momentary bliss. The silence left the void in Waya's mind open, filling it with none other than Shindou Hikaru. And of course, Touya Akira, who just have to naturally slip by his mental door.

Waya couldn't help but wonder, just how did Touya know Shindou, especially that Shindou had the potential to be a threatening strong Go player? He kicked a nearby stone. It skipped. It's hard sound echoing softly, swerving off the sidewalk til it made contact with a light pole. As he looked upward, swarms of little insects gathered at the warm light. Though it radiated dimly, in the darkness it was the brightest.

A small smile tickled at the edges of his lips. The light, it was like Hikaru. When associated with its kind, it's like another clone, trying to shine brightly. When left alone, it's radiance still shines. But its potential, the magnificence, can finally be visible and bright, and trying to pinpoint that source of brilliance will leave you blind. Just like Shindou, trying to dissect him left you searching in the dark. It was like, there were no answers to the mysteries shrouding Shindou. The more you search, the more you were lost. Waya couldn't help but sigh. He was sighing too much lately. Still, just how was he to better know his friend when the secrets create a wall between the two of them?

On the topic of mysteries, the baffling email was another puzzle. He regretted not reading the entire email the night before, resorting to skimming after his eyes caught the news of Shindou's hospitalization. But reading the next line, he remembered, had spoke of an entirely different subject, and his concern for Shindou had skipped over that. What that particular subject was, he couldn't quite remember.

If only he was at his parents' house. His computer was there after all. Going there at this time of the night would raise questions, and he couldn't particularly say it's just to read an email. He didn't want they're scolding either. But there's still tomorrow. He'll do it first thing tomorrow before visiting Shindou.

At least, Touya wouldn't be at the hospital tomorrow. Waya grinned. Touya still had school, which will give him the chance to be the first to return Shindou to normalcy. Waya wasn't sure how, but he was certain he'll come up with something at the spur of the moment. After all, he still had to talk to the doctor about Shindou's condition.

At the corner of his eye, he noticed another figure walking on the other side of the street. In the darkness, he could only make out the outlines. And it was the shape that made his stomach flip. S-Shindou?

* * *

Hikaru continued gazing through his haven's window, his eyes scanning the night city scene unwrapping before him. He didn't feel like sleeping yet, despite that it had been quite a fully exhausting day for him.

He was glad when he was finally left alone in his plain hospital room. He had felt very much at peace, just calmly gazing at the brilliant colors of sunset welcomed by the open curtains. Unlike the silent and unmoving night, the sunset was most amazing. The colorful lights, slowly dancing, had been just as magical and surreal as from the night before, if not even more.

Yet, it must have been an illusion by the teasing lights, but there it was nevertheless. In the light, he had caught a glimpse of the ghost. It had been fuzzy, unfocused, and gone in an instant. But he couldn't have missed the essence of the ghost, its familiar presence overwhelming his senses, even if it lasted just for a second.

Hikaru hated to admit it, but the ghostly image had his curiosity continuously thirsty for answers. But it was the answers that he was afraid of knowing, for he was certain many things would change.

Staring into the night, it provided him with no more answers, just more questions, and Hikaru hated to be confused. Reluctantly, he withdrew from his position. He closed the curtains behind him as he headed to his bed.

Moving his legs had been awkward at first. His new height took a while to adjust to. His muscles felt heavier and number than he remembered, which he suspected was due to too much sleep. Overall, his 15-year-old body just felt different and awkward to move in. He didn't dislike the feel of it, but he rather had his 12-year-old body. It was more comfortable and familiar. And right now, what he wanted most was to be comfortable and surrounded by familiar things. There were already too many strange people disturbing him.

Once at his bed, he positioned the pillow to cushion his back as he sat leaning against the wall. In any case, it wasn't the ghostly image that discomforted him. It was something else entirely.

His mother had returned just as Mr. Monkey-faced Sunglasses was leaving. The doctor had also left right after finishing the conversation with his mother. Although Hikaru had been preoccupied arguing with the idiotic red-haired boy about Go, his ears, at the least, were able to catch and process the idea that the doctor suspected him of having amnesia. And for sure, he was certain the doc was wrong. Besides, if he did lose memories, wouldn't he know it? Or at least, get some feel for it?

Yet, that piece of information was not what made him moody and uncomfortable. It was the news his mother had finally announced just before sending Akari and her two companions to fetch dinner.

"Tomorrow, after the check up, you can return home. Isn't that great, Hikaru?"

No, it wasn't great. But it wasn't the response he answered his mother with. It just wasn't what he expected. It wasn't what he wanted. He wasn't sure why exactly, but a strong feeling inside of him was clearly against leaving. Even now, in the emptiness of his room, he was certain its sounds vibrated strongly, wanting him to stay, the ticking of the clock emphasized it, seemingly to get louder and louder in his ears. The few hours of silence once everyone left enabled him to indulge his mind further into the matter. However, he had never been able to come to a conclusion. Everything seemed so confusing.

There was yet another thing that frustrated him. Go. He knew for a fact that he wasn't interested in such a thing. But there was that disturbing image in head, which had flashed a moving white stone. There had been a familiar feel of excitement, a certain thrill when he grabbed the board from the pretty boy and opened it himself. The emotion was not directed just towards the board, but to his opponent, whom he had suspected would be the nameless boy. Focusing on the board, those nineteen by nineteen lines stared at him, as though judging him. And he quivered in anticipation.

But those feelings quickly dissipated after the red-hair's outburst, replaced quickly by shame, guilt, and a certain hollowness.

Hikaru tilt his head, enough so that he could easily glance at the window. Like the night before, a shadowy river of light forced its way into the room. He couldn't help but me mesmerized by it. It seemed so ordinary, emitting nothing spectacular about it. But it still enchanted him. In fact, almost everything about the room seemed to enchant him, bringing a puzzling sense of comfort. Was every hospital room like this, or was it just him?

Transfixed, he gradually drifted to sleep, his thoughts drifting to that ghost.

* * *

_After a moment, the sun finally dipped below the horizon, leaving behind a trail of its warmth in the form of hazy colors. As the leaves fell around him, they're autumnal colors matched gently with the sun's shadows. _

_Only when the last of the colors vanished, swallowed by the darkness of the night, and the falling leaves finally stopped did he hear the soft whisper of his name. His name couldn't have sound much sweeter. The spoken voice, familiar yet strange, filled the void in his heart. For some reason, just hearing the utter of his name felt so good. It made him complete._

_He turned, facing his side, as if to see the owner of the sweet voice. His eyes following the falling glimmers of tears before glancing, meeting the eyes of a handsome face. The glossy amethyst hues, accentuated by the long streams of lavender hair, gently but sadly gazed into his own. Though he knew not of the beautiful stranger, he couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of sorrow, tainted by a trace of guilt._

"_Why are you crying? Is everything ok?" It was a whisper, for he felt he couldn't be too loud._

"_I guess we never really moved on," a faraway look glazing the deep sadness in those purple eyes._

"_You know, it's really good to hear you voice," he smiled in hopes of easing the sadness._

"_Hearing those words, it makes me weak." His companion shifted his gaze, looking in the distance where the sun decided to settle in for the night. "And I never wanted to say goodbye, but you make it hard to be faithful."_

"_Faithful?"_

_Under the scrutiny of the stars and night sky, the pretty stranger looked like an angel, his outlandish white outfit flowing slightly in the breezes like large wings. Yet this angel did not fill the silence with the answer to his question._

"_It's funny that you're calling me tonight." The angelic stranger turned to face him, a fraction of his face hidden behind an open fan. _

_Little did he realize that talking to the beautiful angel will start a fight._

* * *

**A/N**: Whew, it took nearly five chapters to get the first day over with it. To be honest, I had trouble with this chapter, especially attempting to revise it, so I ended up cropping A LOT of stuff away, sort of ruining some fun of writing this chapter and making it shorter. Hopefully, it still meets your satisfaction.

I need your help and vote: Would you like to see "Tracing the Memo" extended or keep it as a short story? I've been considering this idea. Please let me know by the next update (which gives you at least one week, maybe two depending on how preoccupied I am with the exams). If the story is extended, the main concept won't change as much. The story will be more evenly pace, there will just be more stuff, more details, more substories, etc. I'm fine with either choice, but which would you as the reader prefer? Well, let me know. That way, I can still revise the story before it's too late to make the necessary changes.

I'm also coming back to work on "A Threesome Go," so if anyone would like to help me by being my beta for that fic, please let me know. I can't have Cherrilicious help me on every piece. Poor thing needs a rest.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed! The questions that have come up will not be answered now, because they will be revealed in upcoming chapters, and there's no point in looking forward to future chapters if they're spoiled here and now. ;) Don't be afraid to flame, as long as you indicate the reason

**Acknowledgements to anonymous reviewers:**

+ Me – Yippee! Hehe, Akira sure thinks a lot. Makes me have a headache sometimes xD. Hm, I guess I can understand that it's still hard to understand Go despite the aid of the terms and some comments. It's easier if you have it laid out in front of you instead of just the coordinates. Hopefully, those volumes will come out soon. Otherwise, I guess you can always try and read them online. And thanks for pointing out the present tense vs the past tense. I tried to make it purposeful in that chapter, but when I went back to pay more attention to it, I noticed I misplaced some of them… Sorry for the confusion. Thanks for taking your time to read and comment!

+ Reader 3 – Heh, cute heart. Is it beating for me? :P Hehe, thanks for your flattering. Some of the drawings made sense, but not all of it. Trying to figure out what could be wrong was the confusing part xD. I'm not sure if the author of the story plays Go, perhaps at least a bit in order to understand and write such a great story. But there is a Go pro (Umezawa Yukari) who helped the author and the artist. If you seen the anime, she's the one who does the "Go Go Igo" thing at the end. Hope you enjoy this chapter as well :)


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